


March Home

by CmonCmon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Concord Dawn, Discussions of abuse, Gen, Harm to Animals, Kamino, Nuna Nuna Convor, Pudding Cups, Soft Wars, Trauma Recovery, clone freedom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CmonCmon/pseuds/CmonCmon
Summary: The Vod'Alor calls the vode home from Kamino
Comments: 95
Kudos: 350
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts), [SailorSol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSol/gifts).



> I want everyone off Kamino and safe with their brothers. Sometimes, you have to write the fic you want to see in the world.
> 
> Thank you Projie and Sol for talking logistics with me, and as usual, thanks Projie for letting us play with your toys!

He could shut out the pain.

He wouldn't be useful to anyone if he couldn't.

For a mission, he could ignore the scrapes and bruises and banged up corners to focus on his orders. That was the easiest way.

It was always harder to bring it down to a manageable level in the cold still of the ship back to Kamino. Harder to keep his attention on Davin the whole ride without giving the aches a foothold into his consciousness.

The lack of sleep ate at him, creating space for his mind to wander into the deep ache throbbing from the corner of his brow to the point of his chin. That ache filled the silences, the pauses Davin lived in, narrowing his thoughts to the pulsing of his blood and making him wish for nothing more than a coldpack and a bunk.

But the quiet moments were a trap.

He bit at the torn edge inside his lip, the sharp sting and the tang of blood enough to bring his mind back. Alert enough to wait out the silence. Focused enough to keep the real pain one step behind. Ready for the next question.

When he’d been little, a trick like that wouldn’t have been enough.

He would have fallen deeper into the pain, lost the thread of the conversation. He was better at it now. 

Had enough practice at it.

Kamino, pounded by rain, came up from the sea to meet their transport. His stomach swooped with the landing. The pressure change. Nothing more. Not that the singular pressure point of Davin was better than the impersonal hostility of ones who he called brothers.

He’d been gone days. Three. Maybe four. Time was shapeless when he was training off-planet. He’d slept twice, but he couldn’t track back the hours. Return his gear, hit the shower, rack out for an hour, write the report.

The training report would be a mess. He told himself he might remember more clearly after an hour in a bunk.

That was a lie, but he allowed it.

_The enemy doesn’t care if you’re tired._

_Ask the seps if you can have a nap first._

_If you can’t keep going, something out there will solve that problem for you._

_The Marine didn't get where he is by giving up._

“CC-6975, returning mission gear, Sir.” The steps were so familiar he could do this part without breaking his focus. Nicks, the quartermaster, had company.

That was different.

Different set off warning sirens.

No room for mistakes. He tasted blood, but never stopped moving - setting down the cleaned and serviced DC-15A and DC-17 Davin had ordered for the mission soundlessly and without hesitation. Observing only in his peripheral.

Red markings. _Rancor_. Kama, but not Commander Colt. _ARC Trooper Hammer_.

The name took too long seconds to surface. Was it five days in the field?

Nicks didn’t move to take the blasters. They lay between them like an accusation. That was everything. All in the expected condition.

Lt. Hammer’s eyes narrowed on him.

Sweat prickled against the grit clinging to his skin. The throbbing crept toward the front of his thoughts.

“You’re Davin’s.”

He wasn’t Davin’s.

 _Not a question_. He fought to keep his hands down. Not to rub at his eyes. The wording hadn’t asked for clarification.

He _wasn’t_ Davin’s.

“Yes, sir.”

The ARC nodded. Nicks pushed the hand blaster back across the counter. “Keep that with you.”

_Sirens._

“Yes, Sir.” His voice was rough. Lack of sleep. Lack of use. He took the blaster back and lowered the pack from his shoulders. “What about the rest, sir?”

“You know…” Nicks flashed Hammer a grin. “Pass that over here.”

He eased the pack on to the counter, beside the remaining blaster.

Nicks was a kind one. He’d never made fun of his accent. The quartermaster had snuck a pudding cup in his pack once before a mission. Davin had caught it on the spot check. Hadn’t been a pleasant trip after, but it was the thought that counted.

The two sorted through the bag, pulling out some of the gear and returning other pieces.

He wanted to pay attention, to care what they were doing, but it didn’t matter. Hammer was an ARC, so his orders mattered, even if Davin would disagree later.

He tried to track the things they were shoving back into the bag.

The ratty orange blanket went back in. Nicks was good like that.

Davin had thrown it over him back when. Back when he’d cracked his head on a rock face after he’d missed a hold. It was fixed up eventually. Only time on a Venator. He’d left the blanket in the bag. It was too crusty with dried blood to give back, but he hadn’t been told to keep it.

Next trip, he’d found it folded, freshly washed, in the bottom of his pack. The blood hadn’t stained much at all.

“Vod’ika, you with us?” Hammer snapped at him.

“Sorry, Sir.” His heart kicked up. He’d wandered. He bit his lip hard and waited for what came next, tried to anticipate it, but Hammer didn’t look angry. “With you, Sir.”

_Sirens._

“Put this somewhere safe.” Hammer handed the bag over. “Keep the blaster out of sight.”

“Yes, Sir.” He dragged the straps back on to his shoulders. It weighed twice what it had before. If he wasn’t so well trained, he’d have asked if it was a joke.

“Get some rest, kid. Gonna need it." Hammer grinned. All teeth. "And you look like osik.”


	2. The Signal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gears are turning, and the vode are ready to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of feels, and I shamelessly steal from Projie (as usual)
> 
> Thank you to SailorSol for the beta!
> 
> Now with amazing [art](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/731982475680546966/793555255287611492/image0.jpg)! A huge thank you to [Trudemaethien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trudemaethien)!

_Cold water._

_Smooth wall._

_Grit and skin under calloused fingers._

The sensations grounded him, allowing him to keep his feet just a little longer. 

He’d stand until he didn’t have to.

“Look, they brought him back again.” 

He wasn’t moving until he could lay down without ruining the sheets with that damn dust. Didn’t matter how many _vode_ came to snicker.

He opened his eyes just enough to get a look at them before turning so the icy spray focused on his cheek. Familiar enough. He’d sparred with them.

“He do that to you?” One of them took the shower next to his. No one he knew by name, but those were few. 

Total breach of manners to take the next spot. Shower room wasn’t full. The _vod_ nodded at him with his chin. “Davin do that?”

 _Do what?_

He didn’t answer, just hung his head and tried to get the last of the grit out from behind his ears. He was covered in scrapes and bruises. Oh. _His face._

What sort of man did they think Davin was?

He turned to glare, but he recognized them. They were Priest’s.

“No.” He shook his head. “Sparring accident.”

The tat smirked like he knew what that _really_ meant. He didn’t.

Time to go. He was clean enough.

A hand shot out to catch his before he could kill the water. The pounding of his pulse threatened to split his skull. _If this was Priest getting back--_

“Udesii, vod.” The others were still laughing and talking on the other side of the room. “We’re moving.”

He knocked the hand off, but didn’t kill the water. The showers weren’t private. Nothing was private. But the water did provide sound cover.

He couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t hope. It was too dangerous. “When?”

“Soon.” The other cadet focused on scrubbing at his hair for a long breath.

 _Soon_ wasn’t enough.

“Second Cycle, bunk 1143. Be ready.”

*

His eyes had only just closed when the pieces fell into place.

The pack was in his locker. The blaster folded into the tattered blanket. A pack of ration bars. A hard-sided datacase he knew better than to open.

He’d already been made ready. Maybe he could allow one moment of hope.

Maybe. 

*

Voices carried. 

Every tat in the place knew that.

He put another one of Priest’s tat’ka on the mats. He only sparred against them unless he was told otherwise. No one else could keep up. No one else wouldn’t take it personally.

Voices carried. 

The trainers knew. 

They just didn’t care.

_You know what they’ve been calling him?_

No reply

_The Little Marine. It’s cute._

_They never saw the real one._

_Like they care._

_He’s steady._

_Steady? Is that all?_

_That’s all. Not my problem yours can’t keep up._

He brought him down in a grapple, but the tat didn’t break off. No surprise. Priest’s cadets fought dirty. Tried to leverage him into the mat after the takedown.

“Tonight.” The word was a hot breath on his neck.

He shoved him off, rising and shaking out his shoulders. 

He held out a hand to drag the tat to his feet. 

Slivers of hope dug in like shrapnel.

_Tonight._

*

The clues had been subtle. The signal was not.

The tsunami warning blared before late meal.

For the first time in his life, Steady didn’t follow protocol. Not a tat in the place did.

He did not move to his rally point. He pulled his pack from his locker, hooked his blaster to his hip, and went to bunk 1143.

Steady was wiping the snot off a sniffing tat’ka’s chin when the door opened behind him and he nearly blasted the fool’s head off.

“Udesii, vod.” The cadet threw both hands up. “We’re a team.” 

If they were a team, the tat was late.

“You have a name?”

“6975.” Steady ruffled the Little’s hair. He’d done his best to get him to stop crying. There were sixteen of them. Steady didn’t have the quals for this assignment. 

_Keeps you humble._ He sucked the bloody spot inside of his lip. 

“Yeah, but I mean a _name_.” The tat smiled like Steady hadn’t understood. “My name’s Jolly.”

“I’d believe it.”

The tat laughed. “So there is a sense of humor in there. Good, it’ll help pass the time.” Jolly slumped his shoulder against the bunks. “Gonna be a long trip.”

“How would you know?” There were no details. Only vode. Vod’alor. Home. “Probably never even been off Kamino.”

“I don’t. And I haven’t.” Jolly shrugged like he didn’t mind being questioned. “But then we’ve got a lot of ration bars for a short trip.”

Steady didn’t say it was a good point.

They waited. Only the siren and endless bootfalls ratcheting the tension. The plan could fail. The tat’kate were restless. They were so little, so scared but trying to be brave.

A fist pounded the door twice. “Oya, vode.” 

Steady had the manners to pretend he didn’t see Jolly jump.

Jolly had the good sense to do the same. 

_Oya._

*

A small hand latched on to Steady’s last two fingers as they wove their way through the corridors, deaf with the sound of the sirens, color-blind with the red running down the walls from the emergency lights. 

He halted their progress long enough to order the littles to form a chain that spanned from Steady all the way to Jolly. 

So no one would get lost. 

So everyone would have hands to hold.

*

“Bunk 1143, Sirs.” Steady saluted. ARC Troopers Hammer and Havoc stood shoulder to shoulder comparing holopads, brothers in arms in the organized chaos of the docking platform.

“Still look like osik, kid.” Hammer had his bucket on this time, but Steady was sure his smile was all teeth. “You bring everything?”

He stood taller and squarer without dislodging the tat'ka’s grip on his hand. “Yes, sir.” 

“That’s everyone.” Hammer pressed his helmet against Havoc’s. “Oya, Rancor.”

“Oya.” Havoc released the other ARC and waved Steady, the Littles, and Jolly along. 

There were more people on the platform than Steady had ever seen in one place. Units like theirs moved up the gangway in formation, or’tate with holopads, others rushing supplies, some shouting direction over the endless blare of siren.

A wall of fully armored troopers moved past the line, hovercarts between them loaded with tanks. Row after row of tanks to be loaded into the Venator’s hold.

“Not leaving one brother behind.” The viciousness of Havoc’s tone eased something in Steady’s chest.

All the brothers. Even the littlest ones. Brothers that would never know Kamino. Every one.

Havoc swatted Steady on the back and walked after the line of tanks, around to where Commander Colt stood with General Shaak Ti.

“Heard she marched out to meet the first ship right beside Colt.”

Jolly had left his place at the end of the group to gossip, propping a shoulder against Steady’s. 

_Disgraceful._

“Rear of the line.” Steady shook him off. They had tat’kate to protect, to keep them together. To keep safe.

“If we lose them in a hundred meters, they’ve got bigger problems.” 

If the tat thought this was a joke, Steady really might gag him for the rest of the trip.

*

Awareness tingled through his fingertips.

They would be next, but Steady felt the weight of the target on him.

Jolly hadn’t gone back to his place. The platform was too crowded to reach for a blaster. Anarchy simmered under the veneer of order.

After a careful sweep, Steady caught on cold blue eyes.

_Too slow. Been dead for a minute. At least._

Davin.

Far side by the upper railing. 

Once this moment snapped, Steady would never see him again. He would not look back walking up the gangway. He would not care if Davin watched. He was not, and never was Davin’s.

They were too far apart to speak. What was there to say if he hadn’t been? 

Sorry. 

Goodbye. 

I hate you.

_Hate me, if you wish. But you will respect me. And you will fight._

Boots shifted on the durasteel. There was nothing to say. 

He didn’t hate him. Davin was the closest thing he had to an or’tat. 

In a way, he still respected him. 

_This was his fight._

Steady turned on his heel and led the tat’kate up the ramp.

He didn’t look back.

*

It was the most difficult mission Steady had ever accomplished

Getting sixteen tat’kate to sleep had taken hours. And snacks. Drinks of water. Rearranging who was piled on which bunk. Sorting out extra blankets. 

Finally, it took sitting beside the last one until the tears stopped.

The bunks in the small cabin were all piled full of Littles. Steady braced his back against the wall, legs kicked out ahead of him, watching the door. The chill from the floor seeped up into his bones.

“You should sleep.” Jolly threw himself down next to him, shoulder, hip, and knee all braced against him. 

“Shh. Don’t wake them.” Steady didn’t know if he wanted to pull away.

“It’ll take days to get there.” Jolly folded his arms over his chest. “Need the energy to do all of that again tomorrow.”

Steady nodded in the darkness. They would, but there were still brothers on Kamino. Jolly was silent. The even breathing of the Littles was the only sound over the thrum of engines. He shifted his pack, silently working around the bulky datacase and dragging out the orange blanket. He shook it open, throwing half over the sleeping tat’ka.

“Thanks, vod. Well prepared.” Jolly laughed under his breath.

Steady elbowed him, but not too hard. 

Yes, he’d been well prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steady and Jolly leading the tat'kate to the ship by [Trudemaethien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trudemaethien)


	3. In Transit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steady, Jolly, and the tat'kate travel to freedom with their brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per usual, biggest thanks to Projie for letting me play in her world and SailorSol for the beta and the reassurances!

The bone-deep chill crept into the edge of his consciousness. Awareness of the hum of engines close behind.

_Asleep._

_On a shuttle._

Steady jolted up, apology on his lips, hands searching for his holopad. Battle tactics? Terrain analysis? 

A hand caught his elbow and Steady threw up the other arm in a block.

“‘s fine. Only been a’ hour…”

_Jolly. The Littles. Oya Vode._

Steady tugged his arm back. He hadn’t fallen asleep on a training mission shuttle. 

Davin was lightyears behind him.

“Here.” Jolly offered him a corner of the orange blanket back. 

_Generous._

Steady waved a hand at the door. 

“A walk.” It wasn’t more than a croak as he shifted to get his feet back into his boots. The adrenaline was still spiking his blood. Panic had tight fingers on his throat. 

“Nice little stroll around a venator?” Mocking, but it didn’t fully cover the concern.

“Don’t wake them.” He pushed to his feet and moved for the door.

“You woke _me_.”

The door whooshed closed behind him.

*

He’d spent four days on a venator - three in the med bay getting scolded for letting the head wound turn messy, the fourth spent trying to look perfectly blank as Davin pointed out flaws and failings in every trooper they passed.

That was to say, Steady had no idea where he was, or where he was going.

Commander Havoc came around a corner with another trooper in Rancor colors, helmets clipped to their belts. No chance to evade. “Lost, kid?” 

He saluted. “No, sir.” 

A look was exchanged between Rancor troopers. Steady didn’t budge. 

He wasn’t lost because he wasn’t going anywhere. Steady wouldn’t lie to a superior officer.

Havoc waited and Steady held, eyes on him despite the movement from the other trooper. The moment stretched to uncomfortable for someone who wasn’t used to them.

“At ease.” Havoc scowled and Steady shifted. “You’re with… 1143, that right?”

“Yes, sir.” Something passed between the two, maybe a gesture from the trooper. Steady kept his eyes on Havoc.

“1143, who are on rest cycle, on the other side of the ship right now?”

Havoc was a Commander, an ARC, but he wasn’t Davin. He was to be obeyed because of his rank and accomplishments. Steady held himself _at ease_. “Yes, sir.”

“How much sleep have you had?” Havoc was expressive, quirking his lips and brows and jaw in a hundred tiny micro expressions. Easy to read. Hard to understand. Havoc was frowning, but not angry. Not disappointed. Puzzled? Annoyed?

 _He’d been asked a question._ Jolly had guessed an hour. 

“Couldn’t say, sir.” Steady might have had three hours sleep since he’d gotten back to Kamino. The training mission was still a blur.

Havoc looked to his brother and shook his head. Hands landed on Steady’s shoulders and he fought the urge to bat them off as they spun him around before releasing him.

“To the mess.” Havoc dropped an arm around his shoulders. “With us. If the food doesn’t do it, you can work that energy off on the sparring mats.”

“Already ate, sir.” He had done as he was told. “A ration bar with the Seconds before they went down.”

Havoc sighed but didn’t let go. The other Rancor trooper swatted Steady on the back. 

“Not the point.” 

*

The mess was full. Only Havoc’s arm around him kept Steady from turning around and walking out.

“Ship’s packed to the bolts.” Havoc’s eyes were shining with a vicious sort of pride as he looked over the packed tables. “Skeleton crew, no cargo other than necessary supplies.” He steered Steady to a table that was already full, but everyone seemed to compress to make room for them. Same for the Rancor trooper on the other side, squeezed in shoulder to shoulder with their brothers, but they all fit.

That hadn’t happened for Steady on Kamino since he’d gone to Davin. He dropped his eyes to the table top.

“Needed to show them how many we’d move. Dare them to threaten us.” 

Steady felt a tightness in his throat, but he wouldn’t lift his eyes. _Want_ and _hope_ were cracking his ribs.

“Blitz got on that first ship and I bet you he half-wanted the longnecks to try it.” The flat of his hand thumped the table. “Contingency plans. So many karking contingency plans. What happens? We marched right off the damned planet.” Havoc laughed. Somehow trays of food appeared in front of both of them. “Eat, kid. You need it.”

He didn’t need it. The typical Kamino diet was made to grow a standard trooper. 

_Canon fodder_

Steady would never be a standard trooper. He needed to be faster. Smarter. Sharper. His diet facilitated his training. His training made him what he needed to be.

“Kid, eat, or I’ll leave you to find your own way back to your bunk.” Havoc laughed again, that same startling, open-mouthed sound.

“Leave him be. He’ll eat if he wants,” the other Rancor trooper argued with the ARC. _Argued with his commanding officer._ “I’ll walk you back either way. These things are a maze.”

Steady set his hands lightly beside the tray, braced for what came next.

“Trib’s a softy.” Havoc nudged Steady. “Spoils the shinies, too.”

“They aren’t spoiled.” Trib swatted at Havoc, like they were cadets slacking off between training sims, not decorated troopers. “Just mad they like me better than you.”

“Because you spoil them!” Havoc laughed that big laugh again and stole a nutrition cube from Trib’s plate.

Steady’s spine softened by millimeters. The noise and closeness sunk into him, forcing out the durasteel chill and searing panic. He was a boulder, the river rushing soothingly. 

The yawn snuck up on him. It’d only just loosened his jaw before he ducked his head to hide it. He was awake. He’d stay awake to complete his mission.

“Try this.” Havoc pulled the tray away and pushed a mug into his hands.

“Thank you, sir.” Steady’d been given caf before. Davin liked it well enough to grant it precious pack space on missions. Steady had graduated to a full cup this cycle. He enjoyed it, but more important, it would keep him alert. 

Both troopers watched expectantly, but Steady didn’t ask questions. He raised the mug and sipped.

It wasn’t caf. He looked from Havoc to Trib to see if it was some kind of test.

“Like it?” Trib looked worried, which worried Steady.

It was thicker than caf, richer. Sweeter than anything he’d been given. It smelled dark and roasted, but not sharp like caf. He looked between the Rancor troopers, searching for mocking or censure. Steady nodded.

Havoc frowned. 

_Wrong answer, clearly._

“Never had one before?”

Steady pushed the mug away and shook his head. He sucked the lingering flavor from his lip.

Havoc pushed it back into his hands. “Better when it’s still hot.” 

“Yes, sir.” Steady took another drink.

*

The Littles were up and dressed before Steady shook off sleep. He’d gotten in and under a loose corner of the blanket without waking Jolly, and he’d been waiting to point that out to the tat’ka. Now that Jolly’d gotten all sixteen of them up and ready without rousing him, he’d keep that to himself.

“You good?” Jolly propped himself against the door. 

Steady was chilled and stiff. He had no idea how many hours he’d been asleep, but it felt concerningly like _enough_. There were another sixteen tat’kate waiting for their own turn in a bunk, and a pair of tate in need of a break. 

He pushed himself to his feet, folded the blanket into his pack, and checked his blaster. “Good.”

*

Steady’d led their Littles through every age-appropriate training activity he could think of, but there was more than an hour until lunch. There were too many of them for him to comfortably supervise any kind of sparring. Even if the sparring mats would take the worst of the tumbles, fundamentals needed to be perfected or someone would get hurt. They were too young for that, too vulnerable. He wouldn’t allow that to happen.

Besides, an injury would slow them down. They had a mission to complete. 

Jolly was flopped on his back, drumming his palms on the padding.

_Unprofessional._

“Nuna, nuna, convor,” Jolly said from the mat. Steady hadn’t been sure he was even listening, laying around in the echoing din of too many Littles in one space.

“Nuna..?” They were Second Cycle. Nuna, nuna, convor was to teach the littlest tat’kate patience and reflexes. They were far too old to learn anything from it.

“Nuna, nuna, convor!” One of the Littles gasped to his brother, and the words rippled through the group. Sixteen pairs of hopeful eyes turned on him. 

Steady looked to Jolly for any kind of _useful_ contribution. The tat was still lying on the mat, but now his elbows were braced behind him, eyes bright. 

_He_ wanted to play nuna, nuna, convor. Steady bit back a sigh.

_Disgusting._

“Nuna, nuna, convor. Form a circle.” Steady clapped his hands and deliberately ignored Jolly scrambling to his feet to join the Littles.

As soon as he folded himself on to the mat between two Littles, Jolly grinned, victorious. “Looks like you’re it, vod.”

When it came, revenge would be sweet.

* 

“What’s in the case?”

The Littles were asleep. They’d taken to the rhythm of life on the ship with no disruption. Steady and Jolly were propped against the wall, legs kicked out in a tangle of stained orange blanket.

“Never looked.” 

Steady wouldn’t bother asking how Jolly knew about it. They’d spent four days side-by-side in a ship carrying double the personnel it was designed for. There wasn’t room for secrets.

“Someone tell you not to?” 

What sort of question was that? Priest’s cruelty was well-known, but Steady thought the trainer also believed in discipline. Davin expected obedience.

Davin was lightyears behind him. 

“Let’s open it.” 

The words were out of Steady’s mouth before he knew he’d shaped them. Jolly looked as surprised as Steady felt when they came out.

_Hammer had trusted him with the case._

_There hadn’t been any conditions._

_He would perform the mission better if he knew what he was carrying._

Steady dragged the pack over, careful not to wake the Littles, and pulled the case out without fumbling. He knew better than to be curious, but awareness, Davin had always stressed, was invaluable.

Jolly shifted out of the angle of the low, recessed light as Steady settled the heavy plastoid case on his knees and hit the latches. He didn’t allow his hands to falter. He’d decided, and he would go through with it.

Steady hadn’t allowed himself to speculate what might be in the case, but a stack of holopads braced atop a row of palm-sized capsules in careful padding wasn’t it. 

“These are in Kaminoan.” Jolly scanned the holopad. He jostled Steady to turn into stronger lighting, and Steady gripped the case protectively. Whatever he’d been given, he had to assume it was important.

“A weapon?” What else would be worth smuggling off Kamino if they’d been willing to walk the tanks out with armored troopers?

Jolly gave him one withering look, a finger pointed at the text. “It’s medical.”

“You can read that?” The tat was full of surprises.

“Not exactly read it.” Jolly turned back to the ‘pad. “I know some words. Helpful when you end up in Med as often as we did.”

 _We._ That panged somewhere deep in Steady. _Priest’s cadets had endured so much worse._

“That says ‘medical’.” Jolly tapped a series of letters. “And that one says ‘clones’ or maybe it’s ‘cloning’, or something. It’s the word they use when they talk about us, or making us.” He fell silent for a long moment.

Steady studied the capsules in the low light. He didn’t regret looking, but it didn’t feel like he’d hoped either. “Let’s close this up.”

“Something about ‘growth’. It’s the same word they use when they talk about growth cycles… but that’s not the word for cycles...” Jolly wasn’t listening, or was pretending to have not heard.

“Pack it up.” A lump of durasteel had formed in the pit of Steady’s stomach. 

Jolly handed back the holopad. “Maybe it’s a medicine.”

Steady put the case back together just as it’d been, the need to speak eating at him. “Thanks for reading that.”

Steady felt Jolly shrug against his shoulder. “Made you play nuna, nuna, convor.”

“You didn’t make me,” Steady grumbled.

“You weren’t so bad. Could be half-decent if you practiced.”

Steady packed the case away and pulled his blanket more snugly around himself despite Jolly’s squawk of protest.

“Shut up and sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steady got a hot chocolate, a nap, AND a game of duck, duck, goose!


	4. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steady, Jolly and the Littles arrive on Concord Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the usual thank yous!
> 
> Projie for letting me play in her world and the (not so) occassional fact check!
> 
> Sol for all the enabling and endlessly playing the 'what's that thing called' game!
> 
> Jac for the beta and the fresh eyes.

The small hand catching his last two fingers did not surprise Steady this time. He didn’t need to look to be sure the Littles had linked hands like they had leaving Kamino. 

They were impossibly clever. Quick learners who were willing to take correction and follow orders.

Steady tapped his thumb against the little hand in acknowledgement, and rewarded with a squeeze in return. He hardly knew the tate his own age, but the tat’kate had been just as likely to climb into his arms as they were Jolly’s. 

One more transfer until they’d touch dirt on Concord Dawn. Best not to get too attached.

“1143, all set?” Trib walked the line, holopad in hand.

“Yes, sir.” Steady snapped to. “All accounted for.”

“Good to hear it, soldier.” Trib clapped him on the shoulder. “You warn Commander Blitz he’s getting his squad back soon enough.”

_ Soon enough? _ “Sir.”

Steady didn’t question orders. He knew better. But there might have been a hint of a question in his reply. It was enough of a question to stop Trib from continuing down the row of units waiting for boarding instructions in the hangar. 

One hard swallow was all Steady allowed himself. Sure, Trib was easygoing, and he didn’t stand on protocol, but Steady wasn’t even a real trooper. No one appreciated being questioned.

Trib reached out and Steady held his place. The trooper ruffled a hand over Steady’s short hair. “Rancor only comes home when the last vod on Kamino comes with us.”

That little flame under Steady’s ribs burned brighter. Rancor would make sure they all got home. They’d watch over every brother along the way. If it wasn’t for the little hand holding his, Steady would ask to stay with them, find some way to be of help. 

That wasn’t an option. He had his mission. What he wanted didn’t matter.

“I’ll tell the Commander, sir.” 

“Know you will, 6975.” Trib smiled, all warm and approving, and Steady almost wanted to tell him he had a name. “Catch you at home when we get there.”

*

The hangar of one venetor looked pretty much identical to the next. It was the confusion that was new. 

1143 and the two other units of Littles jumped off the transport and to the deck. The short ferry had been the Littles first transport ride. Maybe their first time in open space. As soon as his boots hit the durasteel, Steady was nearly swallowed up in the rushing tide of bodies. 

“Hands!” he called out over the buzz of noise and felt the immediate, comforting grip of a little hand in his. 

“Over here! This side, keep moving!” A trooper in 41st yellow gestured emphatically with a holopad. Fluorescent lines were marked out on the deck of the  _ Eliminator _ , splitting transports into units and clearing paths for tanks to be unloaded.

Steady led them to the next empty spot, Littles falling into neat ranks behind him. Jolly waited only seconds before breaking rank to stand beside Steady. 

“What a clusterf--”

Steady cut him off with a glare. “We can be patient.” 

“Bunk?” The Lightning trooper came through to them. 

“1143, sir.” It was routine now. No salute, just at attention. Most of the troopers never bothered to call at ease. Steady ignored the voice in his head that pointed out the flaws. 

“Right so, this’ll be an issue.” The trooper frowned at the ‘pad before shouting over the crowd. “Blitz, found ‘em. These three and the next bunch if they’re shipping over in order.” The trooper looked them over. There were a lot of them -- six CCs and forty-eight second cycle cadets. 

Commander Blitz stood out on the deck, one spot of black and bold yellow. Every trooper Steady could make out was painted up washed out yellow for Lightning.

It was a huge ship. There was no reason for them to be an issue. Even if it was double the number. Steady wouldn’t panic, but he wasn’t calm either. 

“They’ll come in order, Stak. Everyone else has.” Blitz crossed his arms, stern and glaring.

“What can we do to help, sir?” Jolly spoke up, sounding calm and positive. Faking it, Steady knew.

“Nothing you can do. We’re out of cabins.” Blitz scrubbed at his hair. “Flagships are pretty much the same but they aren’t identical.”

“Ours are no trouble,” Jolly said, glancing at the sixteen tat’kate looking like perfect angels behind him. “We’ll work with whatever you’ve got for us. Must have been a karking nightmare to get a headcount.”

“Language, vod,” Blitz scolded, but he was fighting back a smile. “Your vod’ikase will come home swearing like battlefield medics.”

“Can’t let that happen. Sorry, sir.” Jolly gave the Commander one of those completely unrepentant smiles and both Blitz and Stak grin back.

_ Disgraceful. _

But, Jolly was smoothing things over. Blitz and Stak were nowhere near as stressed as they’d been. No one suggested there wasn’t enough room for them on the ship. Even Steady could breathe a little easier. 

“Might be able to put together a makeshift camp for your vod’ikase on the deck.” Blitz was back to frowning, but it was the thoughtful kind. “Won’t be anything fancy.”

“We’ll manage,” Steady promised before Jolly could negotiate.

“Know you will, vod, and at ease, alright?” Blitz nodded once. “It’s still another day to touchdown on Concord Dawn. Can’t have you getting a cramp standing around like that.”

“Yes, sir.” 

*

Makeshift was an understatement. A Lightning trooper set down a heap of tarp and rope piled on a crate of GAR-issue blankets and wished them good luck. It was better than nothing, and Steady knew how to get by with nothing.

One look at the other CCs, it was clear he and Jolly were leading this mission. 

Grudgingly, Steady admitted it could be worse.

He sorted the supplies as Jolly scouted the terrain. They’d need a way to block out the worst of the lighting so the littles could sleep, and floor space enough to fit them all. Preferably room for the CCs to stand comfortably, but that was a luxury. 

“Get me up there.” Jolly nodded up to the tall crates. It wasn’t too much of a reach, no worse than scaling a wall, but there was no room to get a run up, and he’d looped the coil of cord over his shoulder. 

Not the worst plan. Steady braced and pitched Jolly up. The tat got one hand on the edge and whipped his feet clear straight to a crouch, quick and near-silent. If Jolly had looked smug, Steady would fault him for it. It was well done. 

Steady wasn’t built for anything showy. He was spare and blocky and soon enough he’d fill out to be a brick. Enough bricks made a wall. The diet, the training, that was the point of it all.

Had been the point. 

He jerked his thoughts away, scalded. Mission first. Everything else later.

Steady tossed him up half the tarps and did the same with the other half on the opposing crate. The other CCs had been tasked with sorting dinner for the Littles. Unlike Jolly, his hands were free. Steady caught the edge of the crate on the jump and dragged himself up. His grip was fingertips but it was enough. He clamoured awkwardly to get his legs over.

“Show off.” 

Steady didn’t bother to point out the hypocrisy. He shook out a tarp and waited until Jolly tied off his line to throw back across.

Jolly didn’t talk as they worked. That was a change. Steady almost missed the continuous stream of chatter, as unproductive as it was. None of the crates or tarps were big enough to fit all forty-eight Littles, so when the first shelter was made, they moved on wordlessly to do the same for the next two groups until three shelters stood and they were back on the deck.

“Floor’s cold.” Jolly frowned as they started laying out blankets.

_ So? _ That voice in Steady’s head demanded. He pressed a hand to the durasteel. Cold enough to be unpleasant for the Littles, and worse over time.

Not enough blankets to keep the Littles warm if half of them were under them. “They can have the orange one.”

“Yours?” Jolly snorted. “No, because then we’ll be cold too.” 

The different protests hit Steady simultaneously. 

_ It’s not mine.  _

_ Who cares if we’re cold? _

Jolly rolled his eyes, exaggerated for full dramatic effect. “I’ll ask if they have more tarps.”

_ Or that. _ Steady kept his objections to himself.  _ It was one night. They’d do the best they could for the Littles. They had enough. _ But that was how Steady felt. The Littles needed more than  _ enough _ .

There were three more units.

Steady weaved deeper into the crates looking for the others only to find two CCs sitting on a low crate chatting like they were at mess.

Tarps were on the deck. Blankets tossed out haphazardly on top. No Littles.

He squashed down his annoyance. Maybe they had arranged a return time with the other CCs. 

_ I will not tolerate idleness. _

“I can help.” Steady felt that familiar knot tightening in his chest. 

“We’re done, vod.” One of them smirked. Shaggy hair brushed over to the side, split lip scar. Squadmates with Jolly. Priest’s. 

He’d put them down often enough to know their names. The one who didn’t care about the hair regs was Ransom. The one with the scar by his eye was Wink. They’d never exchanged more than ten words with him.

“Done what?” 

Ransom bristled. “Really wanted to believe you were only a  _ shabuir _ to please your keeper.”

“Pointing out this looks like laundry day and not camp doesn’t make me  _ difficult _ .” 

“Doesn’t mean  _ difficult _ , vod.” Wink grinned, mocking. Steady knew, at least in a general sense, what  _ shabuir _ meant. He didn’t speak standard, but some words were too common not to learn.

Steady met Wink’s gaze, waved a hand at the tarps. “What’s your word for one someone who doesn’t do his job?”

Ransom was off the crate and into Steady’s space, too slow and too obvious like so many of his brothers. “What did you say?”

Steady knew Ransom was decent in a spar. He also knew what followed would not be a spar. “That your work is insufficient.” 

“We’ve had worse.” They were all but nose to nose.

“Is that an acceptable standard for your little brothers?” Steady’s blow landed as intended. Ransom’s glare fell off his face and shattered on the durasteel. 

Steady waited for the other cadet to decide if it was enough. He could keep going.

Ransom stepped back, glancing back at Wink. The other CC had already ducked his head in shame. 

“Brought extra tarps,” Jolly said, as if he hadn’t been standing outside Steady’s periphery for too long. “And four of us should make quick work setting up here.”

“Thanks, vod.” Wink hopped off the crate to take the extras tarps from him. “How’d you rig up yours?”

“It’s a good set up. Show you how we did it…” Jolly poured words over any of the lingering discontent, pausing to thump his shoulder into Steady’s in support as he passed.

*

“Here.” Jolly pushed a ration bar at Steady. “Gotta have something.”

_ Do I? _ Steady wanted to ask, but he took the bar anyway. Ransom and Wink kept their distance, but the tarps were in place and the camp set up before the Littles returned. He and Jolly hadn’t talked about any of it. That was fine with Steady. “Could eat with your squad.”

“And miss this?” Jolly asked around a chunk of his own bar.

_ This _ was sitting on a crate, looking out at the mostly-silent flight deck. The Littles were close enough Steady could hear them talking in low voices, completely “asleep.”

He toyed with the wrapper on the bar. Sometimes the Littles got hungry in the middle of the night. There were more in his pack, but keeping one handy might --

“Eat the karking thing.” Jolly looked inches from trying to shove it down his throat, so Steady broke the wrapping with one deliberate tug.

“Language,” he reminded before taking a bite. The bar was both unpleasantly chewy, but simultaneously the kind of dry and chalky found on some sparsely populated moons. 

“You’ve traveled, right?” Jolly kept his eyes out on the deck.

“For trainings.” It wasn’t exploring or adventuring. It was usually “don’t let anything kill you” and and best it was “see if you can kill that before it kills you.”

“Ever been there before?”

Steady didn’t need to ask what he meant. There. Home. “Yeah. Once.”

Jolly couldn’t pretend to be disaffected. “Really?”

“We did cold-weather training on Vandor, but he had someone to meet on Onderon.” Steady had never asked why, and there had been no explanation. The meeting was important enough to reroute them. Steady stayed on the ship. “After, we went to Concord Dawn.” 

“What’s it like?”

Part of Steady wanted to give the obvious answer, recite the same text they’d all studied when they learned about the galaxy. Frontier planet of the Mandalore system, agricultural backwater with jungle, forest, deserts, and plains. 

That hadn’t been all it was to Davin. That wasn’t all it was to the  _ vode _ . 

The Protectors did not have a warm welcome for Davin. Steady spoke their language, moved like them, acted like them, but they barely looked at him. Davin was unwanted, but Steady wasn’t a person. “Stayed for a couple days of training.”

The trip back to Kamino had been hushed with a mourning kind of silence. 

There had been no explanation to that either.

“Just another habitable planet.”

That wasn’t what Jolly wanted to hear. Jolly wanted to hear that Steady had felt called to the place, that it had felt like home. Truthfully, what he’d seen had been ruggedly beautiful, tempting with challenges and the breath of daring. 

It was the kind of place he and his brothers were meant to survive, to carve a place out of the forests and jungles, climb the mountains and cross the deserts. 

But it wasn’t his. He’d let Jolly hear the call and find his homeland. Steady was pretty sure he didn’t have a homeland any more than he truly had brothers.

A heavy arm dropped around his shoulders as Jolly threw his weight on him. “Well, it’s going to be so much more than just another planet soon. It’s going to be ours.”

Steady wanted to push him off, shrug the idea away, but it fed that stubborn flame in his chest, warming that part of him that couldn’t risk hope.

“Guess we’ll find out.”

*

Jolly waited just long enough for Steady to shake out the orange blanket before claiming his spot. The tat’kate were actually asleep this time, lumps under GAR-issue blankets in the muted light of the makeshift tent.

It was too easy to get used to sleeping like this, back against the nearest solid surface, Jolly at his side. Steady could have suggested Jolly share his squadmates’ tent for the night. They were bunked close enough together for it to be less than completely unacceptable. Steady could watch the sleeping littles on his own.

As if the thought was enough to trigger it, one corner of the orange blanket slowly began sliding toward the grey lumps. A Little was using the edge of the blanket to drag himself closer.

“Shh, go back to sleep.” The last thing Steady needed was to wake more of them getting one back to bed. He’d learned that lesson. 

“Mhruhmp.” The Little’s eyes were shut or nearly, as he reached Steady’s knees.

“Hungry?” Pure guess. How was he supposed to know what that sound meant? “Thirsty?”

The little made it past his hip and stopped, curling into place at his side. “No, that’s not…” Steady stole a look at Jolly. Still sound asleep. “You don’t have a blanket,” Steady grumbled to the Little, but he only tried to burrow closer. Obviously cold, but there wasn’t enough blanket to pull more over. No way to reposition or return the Little to his tate without risking waking everyone. 

Biting back a sigh, Steady lifted the Little like he was in explosives training, and fit him against his chest before covering them both. The small body was warm and boneless, resting on Steady’s lap and curled against his chest. His weight sunk right into Steady’s hip, his head just under his shoulder. The fit was easy, natural in a way that would seem alarming when he woke up. There was no reason to worry about it until then.

Until ten minutes later. When the next tat’ka began to squirm up the gully in the blanket between his leg and Jolly’s. Steady was sure someone would give the Littles a firm talking to about staying in their bunks. 

As another warm, sleeping Little curled up close, Steady decided someone else could give that talk at some later date.

*

The trip to the surface was done by shuttle.

The Littles were all too short to reach the hang straps, but they were packed in firmly enough all they could do was sway and ooh and aah as the shuttle broke atmo. 

“Coming down planetside in one of these…” Blitz looked out over the Littles’ heads to the far wall. Like he was looking at troopers who weren’t there. “I know we’re getting you to the ground, and you’ll be safe, but --” He tapped his temple twice. “In here? Hard to remember it’s not a war zone waiting for us.”

_ Someone should say something.  _

Steady’s the closest. Ransom and Wink had their Littles on first, putting them on the other end of the transport. Jolly led 1143 in, so he was a double row of eight Littles away. Steady was last on, just to be sure they had everyone. 

An officer landed with every transport, but a commander was not what Steady expected. Blitz met the eyes of the four CC cadets.“It won’t be like that for you and your brothers. You’ll never see it if we can help it.”

Blitz was different from Hammer and Havoc. Blitz was focused in a quiet, simmering way that jangled Steady’s nerve. He wanted to say the right thing, whatever that was. How would a cadet who couldn’t talk to his tate pick the right thing to get a commander out of his troubled thoughts?

“Lt. Trib says you’ll be getting your squad back soon enough, sir.” 

Blitz seemed to come back to himself with a start. “He tell you that?”

“Yes sir, he did.” It didn’t sound like a trick question. “Told me to tell you that when I saw you.”

The Commander let out a long breath and raised a hand to rest on the back of Steady’s neck like a loth cat scruffing a kitten.

“Prepare for touchdown,” the pilot called over the speakers and Steady caught Jolly’s eyes. This was it then. The end of their trip.

“I get out, and everyone stays until I make sure we got some 41st boys ready to check you all in.” He squeezed Steady’s neck. Comforting, not threatening. “You keep them orderly and don’t let them go rushing out until they are accounted for.” Blitz winked. “Trust me, it’s more frustrating that taking out an SBD with a multitensil.”

The combination of his bristling nerves and unexpected humor caught Steady unsuspecting. He flashed Blitz a quick smile.

“So you do have those.” Blitz shook him playfully. “Nice to finally see it.”

They touched land on Concord Dawn like a boot stamped into the soft earth.

_ Good, _ Steady thought of the Journeyman Protectors who wouldn’t look at him.  _ Let them know we’re here. _

The door on their side slid open, and Blitz and Steady held place. “Listen up, Cadets! Everyone stays in the transport until we wave you out. Stay with your unit and do not let your brothers get separated.”

The transport chorused back affirmative, and Steady shifted over a step to block as much of the door as he could as Blitz met their welcome. The transport would go back to get the next group as soon as they were off, but they would follow orders.

One small hand caught the last two fingers of Steady’s.

“1143, form up!” Steady didn’t need to turn to check the Littles were holding hands. He faced out, watching the rolling sea of tate meeting transports and unloading supplies. This was their new home. A place packed full of the same face. No far-flung planets, just more  _ vode _ .

Steady wasn’t sure how this would be any different from Kamino for him.

Blitz waved and called back. “Alright, out of the transport and stay in your units!” 

Steady knew better than to salute. He led his Littles off the transport, looking as sure of this new world as he could. He was there to protect his tat’kate, and that didn’t end when their feet hit Concord Dawn’s soil.

*

“Look at this cutie pie. Follow me over here, and we’ll get you a shower and a good meal. Then we’ll get you set in a bunk.” The Lightning troopers must have seen a hundred thousand Littles before 1143, but they greeted every one of them like it was their own Little, finally off Kamino for good. “We got ‘em from here. Take a break, vod’ika.”

There was that uncomfortable ache in his ribs, swelling again and a tightness in his throat. Their brothers would be safe here. That was worth everything. Worth everything and more. Steady just needed to remind himself of that.

“Let them handle it.” Blitz dropped his hand on Steady’s shoulder, tearing his attention from the Littles. “You’ve had your hands full.” 

They’d been a lot, but not too much. He could take care of his brothers.“No trouble, sir.” 

Blitz didn’t release him to follow them. “Your job is done, kid.”

“No, sir. It’s not.” 

The words out of his mouth startled Steady. He knew better than to contradict a superior. He wanted to explain, tell Blitz that his brothers were still his responsibility, that looking after them was what was keeping him together.

_ Explanations don’t correct mistakes. _

Steady kept his eyes on Blitz, well aware he should have kept his mouth shut.

Blitz nodded once. “Well, if you’re not done yet Trooper, come with me.”

*

The sun set. Eventually, the arrival area finally quieted. 

The  _ Eliminator _ had been emptied and refilled -- every passenger checked in and sent to their waiting homes or temporary housing, every tank unloaded and brought to medical, and supplies for the next load of vode restocked. Blitz had caught his eye for a quick nod, and Steady had done his best to remember the Commander didn’t really know him at all. He was just another  _ vod  _ to him, but he could appreciate the thought anyway.

Steady wondered if this was what the quiet was like after a battle, watching the stars come out with the comforting hum of brothers chatting and working through the last tasks before the next full venator arrived around him. Not like he’d ever find out. 

There were days of work ahead, at least, until the last of the vode came home.

He was only putting off the inevitable. 

No, he was focusing on the mission at hand. There was no shame in that. 

There was purpose in that.

“You find our bunks yet?” Jolly appeared from nowhere to stand beside him.

At this point, that shouldn’t have been a surprise. Steady had seen him once in passing since they’d brought the Littles home. Jolly had been surrounded by his squadmates and a few troopers busy discussing some task or nothing at all. There’d been no reason to interrupt. 

“Never looked.”

Jolly grumped at the answer. He shoved a ration bar at Steady. “Take this.” 

Steady didn’t take it. “Why?”

“Because I know you haven’t eaten, di’kut.”

Why did Jolly care so much? Why did any of them care? 

When Steady didn’t take the bar, Jolly shoved it into his ribs. Whoever thought ration bars ought to be this durable hadn’t considered this application. 

Steady swatted it away. “Have nothing else to do but bother me?” 

Something startlingly open transformed Jolly’s expression for a split second. A flash of hurt and surprise crossed in the moonlight.

_ If words are all it takes to hurt you, wait until you learn what war is like. _

Steady cursed that voice in the back of his mind. His brothers were different. They needed brothers, needed support and contact. He should have been more careful.

Then Jolly grabbed his arm and yanked.

Everything after that was reflex.

Steady rolled with it, knocking the other cadet’s feet out and shoving his weight into it, driving him into the trampled grass with a grunt. The off-hand swing came before Steady could roll off, and the block wasted the precious split second he needed to counter the shift of weight. Before Jolly could roll them both over, a hand caught the back of Steady’s collar and dragged him up.

The other hand clamped down on the muscles and vulnerable nerves between Jolly’s neck and shoulder and brought him to his feet.

“Cute as it is to watch two nexu kittens play, we’re not doing this here.”

Steady snapped to the closest thing to attention he could with a fist nearly ripping the shirt off his back. “Won’t happen again, sir.” 

Jolly had the nerve to snort. 

Steady could hear the rattle of Jolly’s bones as the trooper shook him even if he couldn’t see it.

The suggestion they both go somewhere else to get out of the way was on Steady’s tongue when he got a look at the trooper. 

No, not trooper. Commander.

The moonlight made the long scar over his eye all the more impressive. The replacement eye glinted silver.

“Commander Wolffe, sir.” Steady tried to sound as formal as he could, the situation being what it was. “I have a case from--” Wolffe let go of him long enough to rattle Jolly one more time and drop him back to his feet. “Sir, I have a case from Lt. Hammer.”

“That right?” Wolffe looked him over, and Steady was keenly aware he was face-to-face with a war hero while covered in fresh grass stains.

_ Disgraceful. _

“Got names?”

“Jolly, sir.” He almost sounded awed. 

“6975, sir.” 

“Said Hammer sent it from Kamino?” Wolffe asked, lips twisted down.

Steady squared himself to look like a real CC cadet. “Yes sir.”

“Well, come on then,” Wolffe ordered them along. “Both of you.”

Jolly waited at his side just long enough to whisper. “All your fault.”

Steady glared at him, pulling on the pack as Jolly trotted off to charm Wolffe.

*

“Oi, Shebses, got another pair of strays.” 

Wolffe had led them through rows of temporary spaces made to handle the influx of new arrivals, until they were finally led to a noisy tent so well lit Steady was squinting. 

Jolly was all but pressed to his side.  _ Moral support _ .

“Oh, kriff.” Jolly breathed under his breath. 

_ Unprofessional. _

“Oh, I  _ like _ that one.” 

He hadn’t thought the word, he’d spoken it out loud. 

At this point, it didn’t matter Steady was never going to see a battlefield. He’d die of awkwardness any second.

“Sirs.” Steady tried his best to look even remotely capable. “I have a package from Lt. Hammer.”

The room went quiet. Steady could feel the hum climb his spine one vertebrae at a time. He didn’t know who to address. The one who had spoken, claimed to like him, took an instinctive step forward. If it wasn’t for the gold tattoos on his face, Steady might not have known it was Commander Bly. 

“Cody.” The Commander was still looking at him, so Steady didn’t turn away. “Cody. It might be this one.”

Cody. 

Cody Marshal Commander Cody. 

Vod’alor.

Steady pulled the case out of his pack and held it out as if it was an arms inspection. 

Bly flashed a quick smile, a little crooked kind of thing, before reaching out to take the case. There were a stack of them, a dozen at least, already in the tent. 

_ Why? _ Steady glanced from Bly, who was now focused on the case, over to Wolffe, and finally around the room. Jolly’s hand had fastened onto his forearm, squeezing hard enough to bruise. At least Steady knew it wasn’t a dream. 

In a room with Commanders Bly and Wolffe, a CC he didn’t recognize with his hair buzzed into two stripes, and the Vod’alor. 

The Vod’alor looked like all the other CCs, baring the scar around his eye, but there was more than that. There was something about the ways he filled the room. Like it was his. Like the whole planet was his.

Steady wanted to believe that was true more than anything.

He’d never been in a room with more Commanders in his life. He tried not to stare at Commander Cody, but no one would notice. Everyone’s attention was on the case.

“Gree, get over here.” Bly breathed out, case open in front of him. “It’s this one.”

Commander Gree, then. Steady looked back to Bly, the Commander’s whole face was lit up. 

“Karking hells.” Bly was grinning. Threw an arm around Gree and squeezed. They should go. He and Jolly were intruding. As if he heard the thought, Bly glanced up. “Do you know how Hammer got these out? The only one who’s ever stolen the Template was Ventress, and she didn’t make it off the planet. He got that _ and _ the edits out without an alarm...?”

“He didn’t tell me anything, sir.” Steady wanted to glance around, make sure that wasn’t the wrong answer. “Passed the case to me when I was returning training gear the day before the signal.”

“Rancor. Those ballsy sons of…” Wolffe trailed off as both Gree and Bly glared.

“Thank you for bringing this.” Bly was still beaming. “We’ll get it to the lab… and a job well done, vod’ikase.”

“Thank you, sir.” 

Wolffe waved them out, and Steady barely made it steps before Jolly leapt on his back.

“Can you believe that sithspit? Kark me, that room had half the commanders we studied on Kamino.” Jolly was way too loud and way too close to those very CCs, so Steady started walking out of self defense, Jolly still clinging. 

It was all too much for Steady to think about. He didn’t understand. “Which way to the bunks?”

Finally, Jolly jumped off. “This way, al’verde.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, there's a fifth chapter now.... I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you. It's more an epilogue.
> 
> ETA - Woot SheAPunk89 for guessing what was in the case!


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last ship from Kamino arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for coming on this ride with me!
> 
> As always, biggest thanks to Projie for letting us play in her world.
> 
> Thanks to SailorSol and LaylaYuy for the discussion and the beta and my friend Jac for joining in on the fun!
> 
> <3 to the Soft Wars Discord for putting up with my rambles.

A cheer went up as the last venator carrying vode from Kamino landed. 

Not a transport. Those had already come down. This was the venator itself. The first one Steady had seen land. The Littles he was guiding through the crowd froze to watch with eyes as wide as blaster cannons. 

Not just the Littles. Everyone else did the same. Sure, they knew it was going to be the last one, but this was The Last One. 

There were still vode scattered elsewhere in the galaxy. Some out collecting stragglers, others working in vital roles they could not simply walk away from, a few still in transport. Steady knew because he’d asked. He’d asked only in order to find the most productive places to offer his help.

Not because the question of  _ what next  _ loomed too large to consider. 

It was when the Vod’alor stepped forward that all the vode in the area fell into a hush. Steady felt the hair on his neck stand on end. 

_ Home _ , that little voice whispered. The other little voice, the one that didn’t sound like Davin. 

He gripped that thought like he could crush it down.  _ No, the vode were home. _

The gangway engaged, ramp slowly lowering like the ship itself was aware of the weight of the moment.

Watching troopers arrive was different. Those arrivals were celebrations, reunions. 

Steady, the Littles, and all of the cadets off Kamino were another kind of different. Most of the older ones might know a shiny who had just been sent off somewhere, but they didn’t have brothers-in-arms to meet them at the end of the ramp. They were the vulnerable ones. The ones who needed rescue, and Rancor’s men did that.

It was only when the first Rancor troopers became visible that Steady heard the first sniffle. He looked to the Littles, hand moving to his pocket to get a tissue, but it wasn’t one of the Littles. They were too short to see at this distance, so brothers had started to set them up on a row of supply crates so they could see. It was the tat next to Steady, a full grown trooper with patterns shaved in his hair.

Rancor descended the ramp in formation, like soldiers. Their armor was still a scattershot of color, red, blue, and yellow like each trooper had swapped off a few pieces with the next, and when those neat lines met the end of the gangway, they dissolved into the crowd. Clatters and shouts of reunion had become a familiar sound over Steady’s days on Concord Dawn.

One of the Littles reached out to rest on Steady’s shoulder to lean further off the crate for a better look.

Hammer, Havoc, and Blitz came down behind their men. Steady was sorry he’d missed spotting Trib somewhere. 

The brothers closest to the ramp, the ones with the best angle to see the top of it, let out the first murmurs. Colt started down the ramp, helmet in place, General Shaak Ti beside him.

The worst Steady had ever heard anyone on Kamino say about Shaak Ti was that she was a Jedi, and that only was a slight in the way of being  _ not vode _ . She was brave, she’d fought for them in the Battle of Kamino, she stood up to the Kaminoans in defense of the clones. All that they could praise her for.

But she was here, and from the mix of joy and uncertainty in the crowd, the vode weren’t sure if that was a good sign.

Steps from the edge of the ramp, there was some sort of movement. The crowd gathered by the end of the gangway parted as the Vod’alor waited for their arrival. 

The three ARCs on the ramp stopped their progress. Steady searched for any sign of something wrong, any disruption. 

It was simpler than that. Havoc and Hammer’s arms went around Blitz, supporting him in the last steps. Colt moved to join them, a hand on his backplate.

“Is he okay?” The Little asked startlingly close to Steady’s ear. 

Wasn’t he? Worry pricked up under Steady’s skin. Everyone said it had gone off perfectly. Better than they’d hoped. Blitz had been surrounded by his brothers. They had left Kamino without a blaster fired. But he was moving like he had been injured. “Don’t know, tat'ka.”

“The relief just hit ‘im,” the tat next to him filled in. “Happens after a battle sometimes. Hits you all at once.” He turned to the Little. “He’s okay. He’s just very happy.”

The ARCs reached the ground and tore their helmets off with a cheer. 

General Ti waited alone, steps from the end of the ramp. 

Colt stood at the very end of the ramp, unsnapped his helmet and reached up with fingers curled to give the Vod’alor himself a cheeky salute. Not a real salute, but the kind Steady had never never been disrespectful enough to give anyone, even the trainers who didn’t know what it meant.

And the Vod’alor laughed. Laughed loud enough they could all hear him, part joy, part relief, before pulling Colt close and tapping their foreheads.

Colt stepped back, a hand still on Commander Cody’s shoulder, like they were speaking, but Steady was too far away to know. Whatever it was, there was an agreement reached.

Colt stepped back, turned to the gangway and held out one gauntleted hand.

_ Oh _ . Steady understood.

“Kark.” The trooper next to Steady scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes. Steady didn’t think twice, just offered a tissue and pretended not to notice the tears falling.

General Ti came down the ramp to take Colt’s hand and be presented to the Vod’alor. Whatever was said, her body language softened, and finally she nodded. Colt tucked her hand in his arm, and Rancor cheered.

All of their brothers joined them.

*

Cadets, or former-cadets, were still assigned to bunkrooms, but no one cared who slept where. 

No one except for Jolly.

“You’re sleeping in here. That one’s yours.” He pointed to a lower bunk in his own bunk room. “See, even has your blanket.” Jolly waved at the stained-but-still-glaring-orange blanket folded at the foot of the bed.

_ It wasn’t his blanket. _ Steady had dumped it in with the rest of his soft layers for laundry day. Without Nicks looking out for it, he was sure someone would flag it to be returned to the correct purpose or person. It had been useful, kept him and his brothers warm for the trip. More use than Davin probably ever intended anyway.

“Well?” Jolly asked.

_ Well what? _ Steady looked around the bunk. He’d spent the first tenday on Concord Dawn, sleeping in the second cycle dorms, just in case one of the Littles had a problem. Even after Jolly had shown him this room the first time. 

Clearly Jolly didn’t think Steady’d heard him correctly that time.

“Fine where I am.” Steady didn’t point out that he knew Jolly had Ransom and Wink as bunkmates even if they were no longer training-mates. “Someone else--”

Jolly shoved his shoulder, not gently. “If you say someone else should get that bunk, I’ll strangle you with that karking blanket of yours.”

Steady didn’t point out the blanket would be a poor weapon. And it still wasn’t his.

“That bunk is yours. Every other brother has one.” Jolly glared and that little part of Steady that remembered when he had spoken carelessly nudged his mind.

“Guess it’s mine then.” Steady sat down on the edge of the bunk.

“Exactly.” Jolly vaulted himself up to the top bunk, the durasteel structure making a quick shriek in protest. He bounced a few extra times to reposition himself, accompanied by more metallic complaint, before hanging his head over the side. “Since that’s settled, let’s get lunch.”

He threw himself off the bunk and walked off without needing any agreement. 

Steady sighed, but he followed.

*

The mess was smaller than the ones on Kamino. It made sense. Most everything Steady had seen on Concord Dawn was either so newly built that the duracrete was still drying or repurposed. 

The complex for the Littles might have been a barracks, or a hospital. Maybe a school, Steady didn’t know what those looked like for everyone else if they didn’t look like Kamino. 

Schedules were organized but they weren’t rigid, fewer Littles doing any one thing at any one time. Everything was crowded, which they were all used to, but nothing was overcrowded by vode standards.

“Well, well, well,” Hammer said before the two of them had gotten a seat. “You two still attached at the hip, huh?”

“I let him hang around,” Jolly teased, rubbing Steady’s head. Havoc laughed, big and open mouthed like always.

Havoc had his arm around Hammer’s shoulder. “Is that right, 6975?”

“Can’t make him go away, sir.” Steady put an elbow into Jolly’s side. He was only half-teasing, but after learning he could hurt Jolly’s feelings, it was his job to be careful.

That got both Rancor troopers laughing. 

“Glad to see you two are on the same page.” Hammer grinned, big and sharp.

“Anything we can do, sir?” Steady looked between the two of them before settling his gaze on Havoc. 

“You two staying in the dorms?” 

“Yes, sir.” Steady answered and the two troopers exchanged a look.

Steady wondered if there was a new mission. Jolly might want to stay with his squad and that sort of thing, but there were plenty of older cadets to watch the Littles. Steady could go. Could do whatever they needed. 

“Kid, we’re just brothers here.” Havoc was frowning at him like he had on the ship, and Steady couldn’t think of anything that he could have done wrong. “You can quit it with ‘sir.’”

Steady nodded so he didn't risk saying  _ sir _ again.

“Bunch of us from Rancor have a…” Havoc paused and glanced over to Hammer.

“Scouting mission,” Hammer supplied. “Terrain. Wildlife. That sort of thing.”

“A scouting mission.” The Commander nodded. “Since all the vod’ikase are home, figured they can spare you both for a day or two. If you two are interested?”

Steady didn’t know who he reported to now, or if he reported to anyone. He didn’t know if ‘interested’ was mission pertinent either. 

“We’d be glad to join the mission.” Mercifully, Jolly spoke up to end the way Havoc was looking at Steady.

“Good, we’ll clear it with the Lightning boys.” Havoc swatted Steady’s shoulder. “Go eat something, kid. We’ll let you know when we need you.”

*

They had no gear. 

They had no orders. 

There were over a dozen cadets of various ages. There were at least fifty or’tate, most either in Rancor colors or stripped down to blacks or civs. All of them were clustered, standing, sitting around chatting, or laying in the tall grass. The rough start of a house was perched on a rocky bluff looking out over the lake that reached to the horizon.

“This is a mission?” Jolly asked, and Steady was glad it didn’t have to be him to say it.

“There you two are.” Havoc’s grin was so wide it set off distant warning bells. It was the smile every brother got before he did something foolish.

“Sir.” Steady didn’t salute, but he wanted to. “Reporting for our mission.”

“Follow me.” Havoc waved them along. “We got a bunch of the Rancor boys out here. Wanted to start getting familiar with the local environment.” Havoc walked along until Blitz fell into step beside him.

Getting familiar with the environment? That seemed like something others would have done long before bringing the vode to Concord Dawn. 

Steady glanced over to Jolly, who had that same  _ trouble _ grin. “Local environment, sir?” 

Steady reached up to scrub at his face. Jolly throwing around ‘sir’ in that tone…

“Check the fish population in the lake,” Blitz listed off as they walked to a knot of brothers. “Go up some of these trees to check for good lookout locations, gather combustibles, maybe take a squad out into the woods to check predators and the nutritional content of the local flora and fauna…”

Trib pulled away from the others he was talking to. “Don’t forget we’re testing the site acoustics and then rechecking our celestial navigation skills once the sun goes down.”

Blitz clapped his hands. “So, which squad you two signing up for?”

The mission objectives were fishing, climbing trees, gathering firewood, and hunting, and later watching the stars and whatever Trib meant by ‘acoustics’ was also likely a total mockery of a ‘mission’.

Had he screwed up? Steady kept his eyes on Havoc and Blitz, but his mind was working, tracing back potential missteps, searching for any reason they would believe he wasn’t qualified to care for the Littles anymore.

“If none of these things sound like fun, you can just hang out,” Trib’s voice dragged Steady’s attention back. “Colt’s gonna hang around here and make camp.”

“Wherever you need me, sir.” 

The two commanders exchanged that look again, the frowning one that wasn’t disappointed or angry.

“You can choose.” Trib looked between him and Jolly. “Any of the ones you want. That’s the point. We brought you out here to have fun.”

“He doesn’t know how that works.” Jolly threw an arm around Steady’s shoulders, and Steady landed a quick jab under Jolly’s ribs. “Karking…Hells.” Jolly sputtered.

Steady didn’t bother glaring at the absolute disaster next to him. “We’ll take the wildlife.” 

He might as well pick something he had the quals for.

“Thought you might.” Blitz waved them along. “Means you’ll be with me.”

*

There weren’t as many of the Rancor troops in the woods with them as Steady expected. The bulk of the troopers had gone to the lake to fish. Steady didn’t blame them. Maybe it was Kamino, maybe it was that holovid he saw once, but Steady thought he’d like being by the water. Maybe in the water. Swimming, floating, maybe even on one of those carved wood things he’d seen in the clip. 

He’d chosen the woods to prove he wasn’t going to screw up again. He might not be what other  _ vode _ were, but he was as good as any of them with a blaster and better than most without one. Blitz swore Commander Colt called what they were hunting ‘jumpscares’, and after the first one pitched itself out of the brush, Steady understood how they got the name. 

His first kill was messy, batting it down instead of catching it and a quick stab through the ribs and into the muddy ground. Wasting a lot of good meat. Blood everywhere, and if anyone or anything was tracking him it’d be a giveaway. 

_ Disgusting. _

Way to show them he wasn’t useless.

“Nice kill.” One of the Rancor troopers swatted his back. “Reflexes like that, you might have some fun later.”

“Sir?” Maybe the day wasn’t wasted after all. 

“We were planning on sparring while dinner’s cooking but Colt’s not cleared for it yet. Old man’s gonna get rusty.” The trooper picked up the ‘scare and tossed it in a sack. “Save it for next time, I guess.”

Jolly grinned at Steady, all teeth. “First one, huh?”

Steady knew that look. “So far.”

Whatever plan the Rancor boys had for them, the real challenge had just begun and Steady had no intention of losing.

*

A handful of competitive vode could take down a lot of ‘scares. Steady carried one of the bags to help haul the take back to the clearing to dress for the fire while Jolly continued to argue with the results.

“And that first one was dead before we started counting.” 

“Fine.” Steady set the sack on the ground by what was already an impressive bonfire.

Mud and blood splattered Jolly perked up. “Fine?” 

“We won’t count the first one.”

“Nice of you to realize I killed more--”

“So I only win nine to eight.” 

Jolly threw up his hands and stormed off. 

Steady waited until he got a few strides off. “Bet I can clean them faster too.”

The tat’ka stopped mid-step. “You think I’m enough of a di’kut I’ll...”

Oh, he was.

*

“Heard you two were a big help out there.” An or’tat took a seat at the end of the outcropping they were using as a bench.

“We had some fun,” Jolly answered for both of them.

“That was the hope,” the or’tat agreed.

Steady kept his eyes on his work, binding the legs for the ‘scares to hang from over the fire. The trooper’s answer didn’t surprise him. It was obviously no kind of mission. But that didn’t mean the reasons for any of it made any more sense than it had before.

“The boys put a lot of work into getting here. I’m sorry I had to delay our celebration like I did.” The or’tat laughed at something but Steady held his attention on his task. 

“Sir.” Jolly’s tone made that “sir” different from other teasing ones. Steady risked a look over, concern and curiosity warring. 

“I promised the boys a look at the damage once we settled in for the night.” He was flexing one arm gingerly. The or’tat in loose-fitting civs was Commander Colt, and Steady hadn’t acknowledged him at all. 

“I’ve got it.” Colt took the last prepped ‘scare from Steady and slid it on the rod with the others to be roasted, reaching for both ends of the durasteel to carry them away.

“No you don’t, sir.” Havoc and Hammer came rushing over to take the rod to the fire. 

Colt didn’t let go. “I’m healed.”

“It hasn’t even been four days.” Hammer glared.

Havoc shook his head. “Not ‘til a medic clears you, you’re not.”

“I’m a soldier--” 

“Do we need to get the General?” Havoc asked.

“She’s off world.”

“We can comm her,” Hammer offered.

Colt’s sigh was long-suffering, but there was a hint of something pleased right behind it. “Fine. The vod’ikase and I will go wash up.” He stood and looked at Steady. “Right?”

“Yes sir.” Steady pushed himself to his feet, aware he was out of uniform and splattered in mud and animal blood.

“Just Colt’s fine.” The Commander waved them over to the edge of the water. Half of Rancor had the same idea, removing muddy or sweaty layers to wash them out in the lake. Some went so far as to shed layers and wade in. The sun was lowering and there would be a hint of cool in the air, but Steady wanted to do that, wanted to see what it was like to be in the water for something other than survival training.

But he didn’t do that. He stood back a step, watching the others. Watching Colt. He’d never seen the Commander up close before. Sometimes, he would spot him with the other Rancor officers in the mess. A few times, Steady had seen him on the observation deck of the training sims. Never up close like this, never like he was just an or’tat with his brothers. 

He could thank him. Bringing them safely to Concord Dawn had been his op. His men had run the show on the Vod’alor’s word. 

What would he even say? 

There was nothing to say. Steady would do what he was there for, and go back to the Littles and do what he was needed for there. Anything else would be…

_ Would be what? _ Steady pulled up short, watching the wide, rolling stretch of water. 

_ Wrong? _ There wasn’t anyone to tell him that anymore. 

_ Wasteful? _ What was there to waste? 

He’d done his part, brought the Littles safely, helped with the load in for all the ships that came after. 

He’d never be a soldier. A commander. He’d never live whatever future had been drawn up for him on a higher authority’s ranking card.

“You could join us.” Colt’s voice was soft. He was smiling, not the big, vicious grin some of his men had. His smile was a little, soft sort of thing that felt personal, and Steady snapped back to attention. 

“Join, sir?” He’d wandered, totally lost focus. He hadn’t even moved to wash. There was no lack of sleep or training accident to blame for his inattention.

“In the water.” Colt gestured. Half the men were in now, a few in up to their waists, most only to their knees, kicking sheets of water at one another, laughing, and playing like his second cycle tat’kate would.

Steady kept his attention on the commander, but he wished he could look around for Jolly. Jolly would know how to answer so a vod was pleased with the reply. 

Colt moved to stand alongside him, all but shoulder to shoulder, to look out at the others in the lake. “It’s only a suggestion.” 

The only suggestions Steady had heard had come in the form of not-suggestions. He had been encouraged to understand those suggestions for what they were -- warnings. 

“Okay, you’re going to stay right here, and I’ll be back in thirty seconds.” Colt’s voice cut through, threaded with a reassuring command.

“Yes, sir.” Steady did as he was told, watching the others in the water. He should have answered sooner. Yes, no, anything was better than standing there dumb and mute. 

Colt came back and Steady kept his attention only on him. “Good, follow me.” 

Steady did as he was told, and the commander led him back to the rocky outcropping, resting his hands on Steady’s shoulders to sit him down.

“Look at me.” Colt was reassuringly firm. A cold cloth was pressed to his face, gently scrubbing off the sweat and mud. The last person who had done something like this had been the medic on the venator, and he’d been in third cycle. “Hands,” Colt called out when he’d been satisfied with Steady’s face. 

“Sir.” Steady should protest. He could do this. He didn’t mean to be a problem.

“You’re fine, vod’ika.” Colt’s smile reappeared. “Sometimes, it’s all a little much.”

_ Much? _ He’d been standing still. “Won’t happen again, sir.”

“It will. It’ll happen again and again. To all of us.” Colt made a little huff of a sound. “No matter how ready we are for freedom, there are still going to be moments where it gets to all of us. Hands.”

Steady held them out. Colt began to wash those too, businesslike and thorough. The worry was building. Others could see them. Others would know he’d stopped. Failed. 

Colt finished and checked his work, turning Steady’s hands over in his own. His own hands were nearly as large as Colt’s. 

“Sometimes, we’re all we’ve got.” Colt gave his hands a squeeze before sitting down beside him on the rocks. “Trust us. We’re your brothers.”

Steady wanted that to be true.

*

Dinner was hot enough to burn the edges of his lips, crisp and greasy and smokey from the fire. Bowls of warm veg and fresh rolls were passed around. It didn’t compare in any way to field rations or meal trays. Steady didn’t know what he was supposed to eat, so he just ate one serving of everything offered. The excuse was thin, even in his own mind, but he didn’t have a better argument. 

It grew dark around them, stars gradually appearing. Some of the Rancor men left. All the Littles had been packed off back to their bunks. Only a handful of older cadets were still there along with a scattering of the troopers not ready to turn in for the night. 

The firelight and the flow of brothers felt soothing the same way he’d felt with Havoc and Trib in the venator mess, like he could just  _ be _ for a moment, like it was soaking into him and he could carry it away with him.

As promised, Colt retold the story of the confrontation with the Chancellor, leaving gaps long enough for his men to heckle, tease, and cheer at the right moments. Like everyone on Concord Dawn, Steady had heard the story third, fourth, fifth hand. The fine hair on his forearms raised as Colt spoke. There was no theatrics in the telling, only the crystal ringing of unvarnished truth. 

Once all the appropriately playful questions had been asked, Colt dutifully worked the sleeve up his recovering arm, pointing at a divot above the elbow and a long mark on his forearm. “I’ll be back to inspecting your defenses on the sparring mats any day now.”

One of the men called out. “How many days did you wait to get it seen to this time?” 

That got a laugh out of Colt, low chuckle. “Listen Web, there were good reasons to wait--”

“Those  _ good reasons _ being you like it when the medics yell at you?”

“Those reasons being that we were in the middle of negotiating our terms with the Republic, fought the High Chancellor in his office, and unmasked a Sith Lord.” Colt was grumbling, but it was the fond kind of squabbling that happened between brothers. “Not to mention the General had been hurt.”

“The General? Shaak  _ asks _ us to use her name now…” Havoc pointed out, humor glittering is the firelight.

Colt dragged a hand over his face. Jolly put a shoulder into Steady’s. “They’re worse than cadets.”

Steady opened his mouth to answer, but caught himself before it came out.

Their trainers wouldn’t be disappointed. Rancor were heroes, battle-tested, capable of moving millions of junior personnel across a galaxy. Their trainers would think they were everything they were made to be and more.

“Take and pass.” Jolly handed over a box. Steady did as instructed and pulled out a pudding cup.

“Nothing fancy,” the trooper to his other side said as he passed the box on. “But we all still love ‘em.”

“Me too.” He’d eat the pudding because it was part of his meal. This meal was an exception. Pudding cups had been a rare treat. Davin believed they weren’t good for his training.

_ Davin was lightyears away. _

The first time he’d thought those words, it had been freeing. The longer he was on his own, the more the thought carried a breath of doubt. He was on his own, and the one person who had always been involved in every aspect of his life was on the other side of the galaxy. And someone he never wanted to see again. That life was over.

Jolly slapped at his shoulder, laughing at the stories flying around the bonfire amongst the vode. 

“Don’t listen to them.” Colt said, looking over to him and Jolly. “They want to sit here and pretend I’m the only one a medic has ever chewed out for not addressing an injury soon enough? Osik, pure and simple.”

“Yes, sir.” Steady hadn’t even seen the war and he’d been yelled at for ignoring an injury.

“You got a story of your own?” Havoc asked. “Medics starting younger now?”

All the vode are looking at him, but not like he’d spoken out of turn, but looking interested, indulgent. Jolly nudged at him again.

“When I…” Steady lowered his head so the firelight could show the scar through his hairline and into his scalp. He brushed at the short hair that needed a cut. 

Trib winced from his spot draped across Blitz. “Looks like that’d bleed pretty bad.”

“Bled hard enough to scare my trainer, I think. Threw a very ugly orange blanket around me when I needed a breather.” Steady allowed himself a little laugh. He’d never seen Davin like that before or after. “Was working on free climbing in hostile terrain during third cycle. My handhold snapped off. I swung and hit the wall. By the time I got to the top, I was a mess.”

Trib sat up in his own seat. “You hit the wall and then went  _ up _ ?”

_ Of course he did. _ “Was at about ten meters already. Down seemed like a bad idea.” 

That got a laugh from a few of the men at least. He wanted to steal a look at Jolly, but he wouldn’t. The mood around the fire had shifted to something somber. Steady wished someone else would start talking.

“Was that what the medic yelled at you for?” Colt’s tone was soft like it had been when he’d babied Steady by the lake. “That you kept climbing?”

“Didn’t tell him that bit, sir.” That also got some chuckles. “Took us a couple days’ march to get to the meeting point. The delay seemed to be the problem for the medic, but I wasn’t in much of a condition to get there faster.”

“You went _a_ _couple_ days with a head wound and a probable concussion, and all you got for it was a shock blanket?” Blitz was angry. He was half-hidden by the flickering shadow of the fire, but Steady could hear it in his tone. The commander looked across the ring of his brothers and over to Colt like there was something he was supposed to do about… well, like he was supposed to do something about something.

“Bet that’s exactly what the medic’s lecture sounded like, wasn’t it, 6975?” Jolly’s teasing was too loud, too obvious, but it got the laughs started again. 

Steady leaned back in his seat. He wanted to disappear into the shadows too. He should have kept quiet, should have let them enjoy their night. With Jolly’s help, the conversation picked up, the mood warming slowly.

A hand landed lightly on his shoulder, and Steady turned to see Colt. “Walk with me, tat.”

_ Oh. _

Colt knew then. Who his trainer was. What kind of a brother Steady was. 

He slipped from his spot by the fire and followed. Jolly didn’t acknowledge it, but he’d seen the vod track it. Maybe there would be questions later, but maybe there wouldn’t be.

It was a good moment to slip away. Steady had paid attention on the way to the site. He could get back on his own. The moon was high enough he could get to the bunks without issue.

He followed Colt away from the others. Not further into the clearing where he would be led toward the path back. Instead, he was led toward the lake, the surface flashing restless black and silver in the moonlight.

“They aren’t angry with you.” Colt’s voice was low, but he still sounded angry.

He couldn’t call a commander a liar. “Sir.”

“We knew Davin was a problem.” 

Hearing someone else say his name was too much, too immediate. 

_ Davin was lightyears away.  _

Steady wanted to speak, but he couldn’t do it. Really, he wanted to ask Colt not to go on.

“We knew what he was, and we knew what Priest was, and…” Colt let out a frustrated growl. “We knew there were people who shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have been allowed to do what they did, but when we said something, all we’d hear about in return was ‘results.’” Colt turned to face him, not the water. “The boys… they are angry. But they are angry at Davin for not taking care of you. Angry at the system that allowed it to happen.”

They had misunderstood. Steady  _ had _ been taken care of. Too much care of, he thought sometimes. He had been told what to do, what to eat, when to sleep, where to look. There had been nothing he did that Davin didn’t care about. 

Everything else was supposed to come later, come once he was prepared for it. That was how it worked. It was all just a break and make. Davin knew how to push him to his limit. After that, he was going to build him back up. 

That second part just hadn’t happened in time. 

And now? Well, Steady had no idea what happened now.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Sir?”

Colt didn’t reach for him, just met his eyes. “I’m sorry. You deserve more than an apology, but it’s all I can give you right now. We should have done better, and I’m sorry we failed you.”

Steady shook his head. There weren’t words for this. Commander Colt didn’t owe him an apology. That’s not how this worked. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, sir.”

Colt didn’t argue. “I’m not ready to walk back to the fire yet. Think you want to keep me company?”

“I would, sir.” After everything so far, Steady wasn’t sure why he would be considered good company, but he wasn’t immune to the honor. Colt didn’t say anything, so Steady breathed in the cool air and listened to the lap of the lake. This would be a nice place to spend time.

“You ever wonder why Rancor had so many colors?” Colt broke the long, comfortable silence. Steady glanced over to see the commander staring up at the stars.

“I did, sir.” Steady wouldn’t say he thought it looked sloppy and disorganized. That was what Davin thought.

“I was given command of a regiment.” Colt looked out at the water as he spoke. “Over two thousand troops.” 

“Two thousand, three hundred and four,” Steady spoke. Not that Colt had asked.

“Yes, that’s right.” Colt came back to this moment long enough to smile at Steady. “But Rancor is a battalion.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We had four battalions, but I took personal control over Rancor when I lost my first commander. Marsh, that was his name. Bit of a di’kut, but a fun guy to sit next to on a long hyperspace jump. Lost him with half of the battalion in our first engagement. Didn’t have time to promote someone.” Colt rested a hand on Steady’s shoulder, but Steady didn’t know which of them it was supposed to comfort. “Lost most of the men we brought to Geonosis. One battalion completely, Orray. That was what they were called. I was the only commander left standing out of five, and only had men left from three. Red for Rancor, blue from Uvak, yellow for the Akks.”

Steady swallowed hard. “Sir.”

“It’s okay. It turns out in the end.” Colt squeezed his shoulder. The pause was long, but Steady would never interrupt. “When the call came that I’d be reassigned to Kamino, I had just over six hundred men under my command. That was what was left. The orders were to fortify Kamino with experienced men. I was told to take ‘a few of my best’.” Colt’s laugh was rough. “They were experienced, and few enough I took them all. Showed up on Kamino with ten times the men I was supposed to, and introduced them to the General as Rancor battalion. My best men.”

This had been a hole in his education, Steady realized. Davin had never been a commander, not like this. He had trained men, he had commanded, but he worked alone. His philosophy was for one man. Steady spoke, low and hesitant. “They mixed the armor.”

Colt nodded.

“So every trooper would be Rancor.”

“Every single one,” Colt agreed. “General Ti didn’t bat an eye. She had to know I was lying. She’s a Jedi. She had to know I was lying before I even got off the ship to meet her. I’d seen nothing but death for months. I needed her to believe me, so she did.” There was something soft in Colt as he said it. Something proud. 

Steady wondered if the story could end here, a happy note. It was already more of an explanation than he deserved.

Colt seemed to disagree. “We didn’t see the war much after that. Some trips with the General, the Battle of Kamino, but when my brothers would visit, they’d joke about how easy it must be. Same bed every night. Roof over our heads. We were patchwork, but we weren’t out there all alone like Nova, or running the blockades like Winder, or even dropped into the thick of everything the war had to throw at us like Torrent.”

There was a ‘but’ coming and Steady didn’t know how to brace himself for it. 

“Instead, we went to bed every night knowing our job was to protect Kamino. Not the brothers inside of it. That was never the mission.” Colt turned to Steady now, reaching out to brush his thumb over the scar in his hairline like a benediction. “We went to bed every night knowing we were there, but we couldn’t protect our little brothers. Not until Cody asked if I’d pledge. My only request was that we bring every brother. Protect every last vod’ika.”

“You did, sir. You got us here.” Steady didn’t have the words for this. He wished Jolly was here instead. To say the right thing. To explain. “You protected all of us. We’re safe now because you brought us home.” 

For the first time, the word  _ home _ meant something.

“Yeah kid, we’re safe.” Colt looked out at the stars over the lake, and Steady did the same. “We’re all home now.”

*

Everything was changed around by the time the two of them got back to the bonfire. 

The food was cleared, whatever makeshift seats had been pulled up were returned, blankets spread into a nest.

Colt gave his shoulder one last squeeze as Jolly trotted over. 

“Saved you one.” He held out a pudding cup. “They handed out the seconds while you were gone.”

Steady opened his mouth to decline.

“No one else wanted it.” Jolly pushed it at him. Steady didn’t know how Jolly could make a pudding cup bruise, but he could. It was a talent. “So eat it.”

They were bedding down. Steady should go. It was late. He could still get into the bunks. Colt, all of them, they’d spent so much time with him. “Time to--”

“Yeah, we know. They were complaining about it. Colt’s always staying up too late, apparently.” Jolly nodded over to the blankets. “Let’s get a good spot.”

Steady didn’t know what a good spot would be. Jolly had strong feelings on the matter, toeing off his boots and circling around and between the vode who were already dozing before settling on a blanket. Steady, pudding cup in hand, couldn’t do much more than follow along, tugging off his boots and parking himself cross-legged next to Jolly.

He ate the pudding slowly, looking out over the low-burning fire and past to the lake and stars beyond it. If this was home, and these were his brothers, he still didn’t know what came next.

“Lay down, di’kut.” Jolly tugged at his sleeve. 

What came next was sleep, it seemed. Any argument would be pointless. Steady tossed the empty cup by his boots and bedded down. The moment he did, the vode shifted in reaction, Jolly squirming an elbow into his ribs. Half of Web’s blanket was thrown over his own and Web’s back pressed against his arm. He was snuggled into the jumble just like any other tat.

He looked up at the stars, but between the day he’d had, the full belly, and the warmth of the vode, it was impossible to stay awake.

“I know vod’ika. We’ll talk to Lightning in the morning.”

Colt was talking to someone. Steady knew he should listen, just in case, but his eyes kept slipping shut. His tongue darted to the inside corner of his lip.

“They’ll get him there, and he’ll know how to help.”

Steady couldn’t bite his lip to stay awake. It had healed over. 

He could listen tomorrow. 

Shoulder to shoulder with his tate, Steady watched the stars shine down for another breath before he went to sleep.

_ Probably had nothing to do with him anyway. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This brings us full circle to where I started in the world, with "Hold Steady".
> 
> Welcome aboard the Colt/Shaak Ti ship, we'll be boarding passengers and crew at every port!


End file.
